Set boundaries - or how to avoid energetic imbalances

What "setting boundaries" means

Essentially, "setting boundaries" against the outside (people, situations, life circumstances, etc.) means drawing clear boundaries in such a way that this outside cannot drive you into a permanent feeling of lack or drive you into unfounded fears. We often tolerate external circumstances in our lives that bring us into an energetic imbalance. Setting boundaries therefore means accepting external circumstances for at most as long or to such an extent that they are at most able to push you to the limit, but never into this permanent feeling of lack.

This feeling of lack can now stem from a wide variety of "deficiencies" - here are just 3 typical and frequently encountered examples:

1. Lack of love and affection

This deficiency often occurs in relationships and partnerships. A key acceptance criterion here is the fear of loss - you tolerate the deficiency for fear of losing your partner.

2. Lack of health

This deficiency often occurs as a result of tolerated illness-causing stress in the workplace. The main acceptance criterion here is again fear of loss - the deficiency is tolerated for fear of losing the job.

This deficiency can also occur with addictive behavior. One accepts the deficiency out of the weakness of not recognizing or not wanting to recognize one's addictive behaviour and the inability to resolve it.

3. Lack of support

This deficiency often occurs again in the workplace - people accept the deficiency out of fear of loss, fear of losing their job.

But this deficiency can also occur within the family, e.g. due to an unequal distribution of tasks within the family. The lack is accepted because of the fear of loss, the fear that the family could break up if it rebels against this unequal distribution of responsibilities.

What you need to be able to set yourself apart

On the whole, this is about "feeling yourself". This includes:

Self-awareness

Self-awareness means knowing yourself and your own needs, as the saying goes "you must feel yourself". If you don't know your own needs, you are not energetically centered, which means that your own energy body is not completely in your own physical body - an energetic imbalance. As a result, your perception is increasingly on the outside instead of the inside, which can create a vicious circle that reinforces this imbalance more and more. There is a lack of mindfulness. We know this when someone says "I'm beside myself".

Self-love

Self-love refers to the all-encompassing acceptance of oneself as one is, with all strengths and weaknesses, in the form of an unrestricted love for oneself. This has nothing at all to do with egotism.  Self-love feels like home or security. It is unconditional support, care and compassion for yourself. If you love yourself with all your skin and hair, with all your strengths and weaknesses, nothing and nobody can upset you.

If you have difficulties with this, here are a few tips on what you can do:

• Treat yourself like your best friend
• Do not compare yourself with others
• Stop complaining about yourself
• Represent your wishes and interests to others (see self-protection)
• Do good things for yourself
• Be happy about your successes, don't take them for granted
• Find something you are satisfied with every day

Self-esteem as part of self-love is the basis of our attachment system and our attachment behavior. People with a lack of self-love are usually easily offended, resentful, tend to project their own faults onto other people and are often unable to form relationships.

Through self-love, the fear of loss is also lost - if I accept something out of fear of loss that does not correspond to my self-love, I hold on to it, knowing that it is not good for me and therefore not really worth holding on to!

Self-protection

Self-protection is actually a part of self-love - but without self-love, self-protection is hardly possible. Living self-protection is the ability to say "no" and to draw or defend your boundaries - this is called demarcation. Be aware that you can only be there for yourself and others if the energetic imbalance caused by crossing boundaries from the outside has been eliminated!

What being demarcated means

• You are in the here and now, stable and grounded, completely yourself
• You are aware of your needs and act accordingly
• You feel comfortable in your home - your self - and not alone
• You are connected to your higher self - your inner source
• You feel free to trust
• You celebrate your aliveness every day and share it with the world

What being demarcated does notmean

• Constriction
• Excluding others
• Erecting barriers to the outside
• Permanent defensive posture
• Being insensitive

If you feel addressed here and have gained the impression that I can make a contribution to your future better life, then simply contact me without obligation for a free 1:1 conversation.

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